I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
