no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
