How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
