He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
