Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
