I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
