I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
