Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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