she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
