dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
