I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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