He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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