You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
