at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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