i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
