are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize