My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
