I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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