Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
