I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
