I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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