Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
