Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
