These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
