Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize