He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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