I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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