HIV tests are more positive than that guy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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