She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh god it's open bar.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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