I'd wear matching sweaters with you
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
