Don't you send me to vm
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
