@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He kissed a someone with a penis
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
