sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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