I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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