I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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