My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
