I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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