I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
