I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
