My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
