:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
