I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
