you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
