Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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