And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
