Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
