What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize