so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize