how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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