You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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