Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
