I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
