Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
