I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
