Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
