"it" just moved
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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