I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
