maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
