ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
