why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
