idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
