I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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