We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
