ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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